It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
