I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
