new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
