Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
