Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
