We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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