It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
