We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
