I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
