I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
