apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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