Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
