some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
