Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
