shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think my moral compass just broke
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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