your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
