It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
