you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
