ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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