I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
