glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
