HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
