That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
