You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
