Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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