we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
