you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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