to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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