knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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