If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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