who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize