I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
