Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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