No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
