Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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