My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
