Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize