hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
