I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
