I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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