were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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