i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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