Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
