I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
