yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
please don't ironically join a cult
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