She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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