Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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