farters have to be the big spoon...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
