Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
