My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
