if you like me you must not know who I am
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
