I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize