i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
