I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
