please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize