And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
